Reconciliation

Not the sacrament. Conceptually similar.

Back in high school I dated this guy on and off for three years. The break-up was ragged, potentially bloody, and rather predictable from an outside perspective. Our relationship could be summed up in a black-and-white photo taken my Sophomore year. I was sitting on a ledge with my ex-boyfriend, his arm around me, his afro wild, and my expression embarrassed and unamused. It would later be my mother's favorite picture, taking its place next to my parents' wedding portrait.

When I started dating Bastian, my ex-boyfriend was rather put out. His feelings had been betrayed, and could not bring himself to talk to me. Having cared for him and then still, and made an honest of attempt to reconcile. Unfortunately, according to most he hated me...in all sense of the word. Against my better judgment, I gave up.

I'd avoided his company for a year and a half. This was not intentional and certainly not preferred. I'd often conjured elaborate scenarios of our dramatic, tearful reconciliation. I wanted us to be friends again. Love has a way of lingering -- I knew we could not be separated forever.

My boyfriend plays soccer with a group of people including my ex-boyfriend. I'm always invited to play, but have never taken the opportunity. I don't want to cause a fight when people were trying to have fun. Besides, I have two left feet when it comes to soccer...I'd hurt someone

This evening I discarded my seasonal flip flops for sneakers, and biked toward the soccer field without any regret in my mind. Perhaps the summer heat had melted my brain, but my usually nervous disposition was replaced by enthusiasm and reckless bravery. I had every intention to confront my ex-boyfriend and make amends.

...it was as if we'd never fought. He was enjoying college, work, and life in general. This was more than I could say for myself, but I remained vague in the description of my life. It was wonderful to talk to him. He retained everything I liked about him. All scenarios I had envisioned seemed so juvenile, and we conversed comfortably.

Bastian is horrified, but I assured him that ex-boyfriend and I are friends. Bastian has one jealously complex to rule them all...more on this later. Hasta pasta.